Things I should never do ever

• Stay up past midnight unless I'm hanging out with people. Not only is there NO POINT, but nothing good ever comes from it. I can't think of one instance.
• Eat pizza in North Carolina. In theory because I'm allergic to wheat, but honestly because it sucks.
  
• Plan to be somewhere before 7:30 a.m. Even if it does miraculously happen, it's not going to be pleasant for anyone involved. SORRY KIDS.
  
• Drink green tea; it makes me throw up. Why? Because I am a health anomaly.
• Wear those cheap 2 dollar obnoxious earrings you can buy in teen retail stores. They're the reason I pierced my ears and I'm allergic to them. They make my ears swell up but sometimes I risk it it, anyway, because, listen: Giant, bright yellow, plastic hoop earrings are worth any cell damage they might incur.
• Purchase butter. I don't eat butter. Why do I have butter in my refrigerator? What am I going to do with it? Does butter go bad?
• Pierce my nose. But I really really want to. Should I do it?
  
• Go to my high school reunion. Nothing good can come of that, and by that I mean, I could just go to a bar when I visit home and be alternately ignored/accosted by the exact same people for free.
• Send my dad a Barack Obama birthday card. It was hard to resist the temptation today, but I managed.
  
• Let people know that I refer to myself as two entities: Good elyse and Bad elyse. Oops, I just told you. That was Bad elyse's idea.
  
• Write in this blog. Bad elyse makes me. I need to go do something productive now.