December 2, 2008

Lucky Numbers: 2, 13, 36, 11, 18, 17

Thank heaven I bought those 196 packets of instant organic zen oatmeal, because right now it's the only food I have in my apartment! I am a poor, poor, poor, poor, poor grad student, but it's totally cool because I fucking love oatmeal.

Yesterday I got a fortune cookie that says "If you're happy, you're successful," but what about all the stipulations? Like, what if you're happy but really cranky? Then maybe you're a successful power-bitch. That wouldn't be so bad. After all, bitches get things done, right? Unfortunately I've never used that power for anything beyond stealing someone's boyfriend, which I no longer feel so happy about...

Anyway, past bitcheries aside, success is a loaded word, Fortune Cookie. That is why I am taking this time out of what I intended to be a productive morning to lecture you all ("y'all") about the caveats of asserting nebulous truisms and not qualifying them. That's just bad writing, and I demand a lot more from my fortune cookies. I'd like to see The Love Song Of J. Alfred Prufrock next time, in fact. Get working on it.

LEARN CHINESE- Be invited = (zuo) (ke)

3 comments:

Purslane said...

As an alternative to corporate and bourgeois definitions of success, I'd say the fortune cookie did damn well.

Purslane said...

p.s. May I serve as your Chinese tutor?

twisby said...

yes, please!