It's weird to be in graduate school and live in such a way that you could, should you undergo a personal revolution/drugged up weekend (or anything in between), end in one fell swoop. It's weird that moving here, existing here, and continuing to live here is completely my decision, within my power.

My family really does not get it. They would be happy if I quit school, moved home, and got a job as a teacher. I'm positive that my parents pressured me to get into science so I would settle down and not become the next Mountain Girl. (MG was/is my heroine. Have you read the Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test? That girl rocks.) Even in middle school I was talking about fun stuff like running away with bands, getting tattoos, being a bartender, traveling the US to write novels, piercing things, and dying my hair purple. I was also writing protest poetry about the Man. They probably thought, "Here's something productive and rational that our wild child can direct her energy towards. Let's kill off sex, drugs, rock'n'roll, and wanderlust before they even occur to her." I'm sure they thought they could thwart my reckless future by making me love science. I'm sure they thought by majoring in biology, I'd meet some nice doctor and marry him. I'm sure, failing those things, they at least thought that my career in science would keep me untattooed, well-groomed, and close to home. Ha! Joke's on them!

Well, the point of me saying all this is that I am totally in control of my whole life, and I love it. I have never been happier and more scared of screwing up.

I have all this creative energy and I haven't figured out how to use it in science yet, but I will. I will. It's going to be revolutionary.... Viva la neuREVOLUTION! Or maybe, viva me eking out a PhD without losing focus and having to spend the rest of my life writing self-help novels or assembly instructions.