did you know!?

... elk and moose are the same animal, with different names on each continent!?
... you can cook pasta like risotto and it tastes delicious?!
... I am getting a FREE FUTON THIS WEEK.

Today was my mom's birthday so I called her, as good children are expected to do. (Being the only child, I must be both the good and bad child; luckily, I forgot that there was no mail today and failed to send her card early enough to arrive on Saturday. That took care of the "bad child.") She was telling me about this "supper club" she and her friends are forming. It has a secret password and once a month, a couple in the club has all the other couples over for dinner. The name of the supper club is "The Secret Spice of Life."

PASSWORD?! SUBURBAN COUPLES!? SPICE!? I am tormented by my suspicions that this is one of those swinger clubs Oprah is always talking about. Now it's even more important that I don't join the world of swinging couples when I get the invitation.

Fear of my parents: perhaps the only moral pillar that hasn't fallen.