Ad obnoxium

Lately I have been a lot more irritated than usual. A variety of factors have probably combined to create this effect... Last week's unprecedented eight days of migraine, probably the effect of some combination of small lifestyle alterations, attests to my recent neurological sensitivity. The fact that I'm surrounded by females all the time in my new lab also makes me a little edgy.

What's sort of hilarious is that I'm finding myself being annoyed to the point of almost rage by things that happened too long ago to be of any importance, or things that I consider myself a douchebag for being angry about. This is why, today, I bring you a list called "Ridiculous Things that Annoy Me: 2/3/09 Edition"

• People who walk slowly. EVERYONE in the South walks like they are in an art museum, gazing contemplatively at a Monet. Girls walk in groups so it's hard to pass them on the sidewalk, so I become trapped behind them and forced to listen to their inane logic about why some boy can't commit, or how cold the 60 degree weather is.
• People who sit next to me on the bus and impede my ability to get off at my stop. There is an empty row over there! Get away from me!! You smell bad!!!
  
• Women. You need to toughen up, ladies, and stop acting like delicate southern belles.
• Men. Desperation is irritating. Pretending to be considerate so I will feel obligated to hang out with you is more irritating.
  
• The price of produce-- $2 for an avocado? What the fuck!?
• Weather that is too cold for just a sweatshirt but too warm for a peacoat. I am from Chicago. The central limit theorem does not apply to temperatures there.
  
• FROGS THAT WILL NOT MATE. Their whole brain is just designed to help them have sex more efficently. It's like when you grab a Kleenex and blow right through it-- what's the goddamn point?
• Polymerase chain reaction.
• My parents. I'm not sure if it's because they are exhibiting every sign I can recognise for early dementia, or because they've been like that since I was five so I know it's just their personality.
  
• House (the TV show). The character "13" needs to die. I am going to quit watching.
  
• Waiting for food to cook. I AM HUNGRY NOW, DAMNIT.

Today's irate rant brought to you by the temp workers in the Mood Dept. of my brain.