Today I was teaching a lab class about insect foraging, so the students and I walked to UNC's arboretum for some observation of the fast-paced world of honey bee life. I got lost. In the arboretum. By myself. The students had to come find me. It's a good thing I have a good sense of humor about myself because that is harikari-quality embarrassing.
If you've ever driven with me, you know I pretty much can't pass cars. I just can't do it! It seems rude, and you can't deny that changing lanes adds some extra hazard to being on a four lane road. You know it does, you devilish maverick driver, you. Well, this IMMENSE MOVING VAN cut me off in the parking lot of my gym (what was it doing at the gym? "Hi I think I'll relocate oh wait how about some cardio now") then ended up driving 25 mph directly in front of me from the gym to my apartment. It finally pulled into my own apartment complex and TOOK MY SPACE. That's what I get for being a neurotic, ultraconsiderate driver, I guess.
Why does this happen? Probably because my common sense IQ is approximately that of an anaesthetized rhesus monkey's.
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Your destiny arrived in a large, aerobically impeccable albeit slow-moving U-Haul. If you missed the opportunity to engage the raffish, stubble-chinned, essentially monogamous, taller than average, 420-friendly driver in awkwardly intoxicating dialogue, you'll never find True Happiness because you just don't want to.
p.s. You'd love the carpenter bees that feed on the salvia I planted last year.
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