I am the ONLY person who could slice her finger open and bleed profusely trying to BAKE COOKIES. I'm probably also the only clumsy, irresponsible cook who manages to have slip up with knives on a daily basis and can never remember to keep band-aids around. Every single finger on my left hand has bled this week. Last week, a paring-knife mishap caused me to slice between my thumbnail and finger (it hurt like a bitch) as well as behind my cuticle on my right ring finger. As a last point, if you have open cuts on every finger, don't squeeze limes with that hand. Maybe you'd have figured that out sooner than I did... I'm slow.

I should stick to yogurt. Nobody ever cut themselves trying to eat yogurt (except maybe on the foil lid... uh oh).