It's almost my birthday and that means I've been thinking a lot about... alcohol!

I thought of a good name for a sure-to-be disgusting shot: PBR&J. It would consist of Pabst Blue Ribbon and Jello, or maybe PBR and grenadine and a cherry. At any rate, that's gross, but it would be fun to order. I would probably try it once or ten times.

You know what would make a really good shot? Tequila. I'm going to have some now.

P.S. My parents got me knives for my birthday. Super sharp professional chef-quality knives. I'm excited because my current cutlery requires Neanderthal-esque techniques in order to slice foods tougher than a mushroom. Sometimes I think it would help if I grunted and scratched my fleas while I use them, no joke. Now that the new knives have arrived, my mom keeps calling me and reminding me to be careful, because "knives can cut" me. Thanks for the heads up, Mom.