Synopsis of every spring since college:
Rainy day = I wish it was nice so I could go outside and enjoy myself
Sunny day = migraine and panic attacks about insects

Now that it's getting warm and flowers are blooming, my porch is swarming with hornets. I'm not used to gigantic hornets because I'm from Chicago, where bugs die in the winter and don't get a chance to grow larger than my thumb. I can hear them buzzing though my window pane and when they bump into my window, they make a tapping sound. It's giving me goosebumps, the scary movie kind.

I'm not saying we need to go back and revive the Silent Spring project, but maybe the size of insects here has gotten out of control. Are there any non-chemical ways to keep insects off my porch?? Keep in mind that I don't have half the hand-eye coordination to swat at them.