I hate riding the bus

Yesterday I was riding the bus home from the grocery store. It had just begun to rain lightly and the bus was not crowded at all. In fact, there were many, many seats available. Two men boarded at the Credit Union. Instead of taking a seat, they decided to stand in front of me. Not only did I have to stare at their (unappealing) behinds for 15 minutes, I had to endure their wet, dripping backpacks hitting me in the face over and over again while I tried not to drop my armful of groceries.

Naturally, I began to contemplate whether I should speak up and cleverly chastise these bastards. Before I could make up my mind, the girl sitting across the aisle from me whipped out her cell phone and called a friend, saying loudly,

"These two white dudes just got on the bus and decided to stand rather than sit by me because I think they hate black people! That's so racist right! Can you believe how racist these jerks are for not taking a seat because it's next to a black girl? I gotta go, I don't want them to form anymore racist opinions about me while I'm on the phone."

Those two men completely ignored her, but I'd like to think that they will feel The White Guilt for the rest of their bus-riding days. I'd rather have them feel The Shame Of Douchebaggery for shaking their moisture onto me like smelly, wet dogs. I only wish I were bitchtastic enough to call them out on it.