TRIUMPHANT RETURN TO BLOGGING, in case you care

Oh hi... here I am.

By way of apologizing for not writing in my blog for the better part of a year and a half, I give you the lame lame lame excuse of saying that I have a boyfriend lately and I'm happy. And you wouldn't want to read posts about how happy I am week after week, right? Otherwise you'd be reading somebody's baking blog or garden blog or "I AM PLANNING THE PERFECTEST WEDDING" blog. And also by way of not apologizing, I suggest you imagine that YOU were dating some really perfect person, and ask yourself if YOU would prefer to stay home on Saturday nights to rant about idiosyncrasies.

Well, the thing is, I sort of miss being able to rant in a way that doesn't make people I know in real life think I am an unabashed murderous weirdo. Actually I really miss it, because there's not enough space in the microblogging world to express my irrationally strong feelings about people who don't use turn signals or post on Facebook six times a day about the kinds of cookies they baked for their increasingly corpulent husband or the depraved misuse of commas in New York Times headlines.

The really good news about my absence is that it has given me time to consider what exactly it is I would like to do with my blog, and also enabled me to accrue a large amount of minty fresh antipathy for the world.

So I'm back. Please come read my blog again. I missed you. In the words of the Jackson 5: Oh, baby give me one more chance! Won't--you--please--let--me back in your heart? How can you resist that?

sorry for my absence...

... but I am home now. Home in the horrifically plain suburbs of Chicago, surrounded by white! White landscapes, people, elephant gifts, and minds. And you know how that gives me material. As a sappy, lame excuse for my inattention to this blog, I offer you a scrap of a google chat with a morsel of information about my personal life. It doubles as a sneak-preview of the evil holiday spirits and corporate bah-humbuggery soon to spew from this journal.

elyse: i hate hallmark because it is the mass-production and mass-marketing of everything in this world that is trite, boring, unartisan, and banal

elyse: because 1/4 of the items in the store that aren't about baby jesus, stuffed animals, and gem-studded troll dolls are about making the alcohol swigging habits of suburban biddies cutesy and pink

R: I like you :)

elyse: i like you :)

Isn't that disgusting? Aaaaaand I'm never mentioning my personal life again.