Disneyland Nightmare Vacation

This blog got 50 hits yesterday, which sort of blows my mind. One of those hits was for "masklophobia." You may remember my paranoid post in which I lamented my fear of costumed people/animals. I hope that I helped you, anonymous masklophobia researcher, with your investigation of a phobia that has ruined Halloween and all theme parks for me and tens of other neurotic freaks.

A friend of mine recently went to a wedding at Disneyworld. This, too, blows my mind.
weddings + costumed characters = ELYSE'S ULTIMATE HELL
If you're my friend and you get married at Disney, I'll send you a gift and be happy for you, but I'm sorry, I cannot be a part of that. I don't even want to see pictures unless I've had a shot or two of tequila to calm my nerves.

Do you really want Mickey and Minnie on your honeymoon? Their unblinking, soulless eyes would haunt you during your most romantic moments, the shining plastic whites reflecting moonlight ominously within the intimacy of your Epcot marriage suite. All night long, you'll lie awake in fear of the gentle caress of a pair of large, gloved hands up your bare back... you startle as you hear the unmistakable sound of one oversized button slipping from its hole, then another. The giant head leans closer. You begin to scream uncontrollably...