tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-85870562565001896932011-08-01T16:46:42.782-05:00it seems to me that i have said too much in too few years.twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.comBlogger1811100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-90478451254778179122011-02-11T13:53:00.006-06:002011-02-11T14:12:04.287-06:00

Today I'm putting aside my casual hatred of men to make a post about the ones I appreciate. I'm thankful for the dudes who make my life a little bit cooler:To the large dude on my bus who wears powder pink high tops;To the guys in the coffee shop who switch up their indie playlists for the occasional ABBA, which makes Monday mornings a little bit easier to stomach;To the businessman in front of

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-14064112804715815092011-02-06T12:21:00.006-06:002011-02-06T13:23:02.382-06:00

There's scads of blogs by women I will collectively refer to as Barbie Kenswifeywife (nee Homemakertobe) who slave at their computer to rehash every detail of the meatloaf, pancakes, muffins, pie, sandwich, etc that they made for their husband that day and then show us a pretty picture of what it looked like on the plate before he tore it to pieces with his giant dirty man hands. Or feel the need

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-52190464065357027632011-01-30T13:57:00.007-06:002011-01-30T14:43:51.068-06:00

Before I explain how bad NC drivers are, let me tell you two things about the South:First, let me clarify that when people talk to you about "cities" in the South, they don't mean real cities*. They mean something similar in size to large suburbs in the North, except there's less traffic and less stuff to do. What I mean is that when I drive around Raleigh, NC there's typically street parking

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-86813067488842127582011-01-30T13:31:00.005-06:002011-01-30T13:48:24.912-06:00

Oh hi... here I am.By way of apologizing for not writing in my blog for the better part of a year and a half, I give you the lame lame lame excuse of saying that I have a boyfriend lately and I'm happy. And you wouldn't want to read posts about how happy I am week after week, right? Otherwise you'd be reading somebody's baking blog or garden blog or "I AM PLANNING THE PERFECTEST WEDDING" blog.

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-88884965939832318702010-05-19T15:21:00.003-05:002010-05-19T15:29:31.448-05:00

A friend and former coworker in the depressing world of holiday retail recently sent me a link to the following comment because of its obvious relation to my recent diatribes about the marginalization and communal fear of weirdness in society:not an insultand I think it's awesome and better than any vile insultry I could possibly spew about discrimination against the odd and unusual on this blog,

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-13551056011804272372010-05-03T11:04:00.003-05:002010-05-03T11:17:40.101-05:00

I'll never ask you to donate money to me for my blog... I'm a poor-ass graduate student, but so are the majority of my readers, and this blog is free to operate and fun to write. Also, I can't pretend that it is actually useful for anything other than mild entertainment and thus cannot justify putting any amount of monetary value on it.HOWEVER, I am now about to ask you to donate to a really cool

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-43738601149241810062010-05-02T14:28:00.004-05:002010-05-02T14:41:46.592-05:00

Sometimes thoughts come into my head that are both so novel and entertaining to me that I can't repress them until a more appropriate moment, nor am I able to control the volume at which I express them. If I were 7 years old you might think I have Tourrette's syndrome, but really I just don't have enough shame to control myself. Last night, boyfriend and I pulled up to a restaurant, parking

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-69597209151330898362010-04-23T09:41:00.003-05:002010-04-23T09:54:12.427-05:00

One of my big neuroses since I was small has been losing things. I remember at 3 years old leaving my Dewey Duck stuffed animal in the bathroom at DisneyWorld and never seeing it again. Another time, I left my cherished stuffed elephant in a booth at McDonalds on a road trip to the Ozarks and my poor parents turned the car around and drove an hour back to get it for me.I normally don't leave

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-88744743439047470802010-04-20T13:09:00.005-05:002010-04-23T09:41:20.708-05:00

Embarrassment is fleeting. Ephemeral. The dissolution of your pride is forever. Last week I forgot my cell phone at home four critical and excruciating times (iPhones are addicting), leaving me without the ability to text/call/FourSquare/Twitter/Facebook/take pictures of hipsters. I almost left my home without a bra on (I'm not enough of a hippie to do that on purpose). I forgot to eat dinner

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-78775798530876456402010-04-13T08:09:00.002-05:002010-04-13T08:22:52.581-05:00

All etymology aside, isn't it interesting how close the word contemporaries looks to contempt? And also, how the word "peers," when uttered in a particular sentiment, might sound like the word "pierce," as with a dagger? Not that this has anything to do with anything.

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-71716808640381658552010-04-11T23:01:00.002-05:002010-04-11T23:02:40.109-05:00

I have the notion that anything, anything, anything, no matter how innocent, can be creepy if you type it into Microsoft Notepad.

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-43663459247462373712010-04-10T18:05:00.003-05:002010-04-10T18:11:09.382-05:00

The below posts make me sound like a rage-filled, negative little shit, which I often am (otherwise how would I write this blog?) but I'd like to clarify that my friends are more amazing, funny, cool, charming, unique, interesting, and talented than I could ever ask for, and my life is pretty sweeeeet -- because of them and in spite of interference from "normal" people. Whoopie!I'm off to hang

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-52547796898963956632010-04-10T16:03:00.005-05:002010-04-10T16:31:12.013-05:00

Maybe you get the impression, reading this blog, that I'm not exactly like most people you might run into on a daily basis. Maybe I'm a little more neurotic, more observant, more narcissistic, more loquacious, more cynical. Maybe I have a unique perspective or even put new words and a new voice to things you've thought yourself. Or MAYBE if you don't have a good vocabulary or any sense of

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-26291262394536182342010-04-10T15:29:00.002-05:002010-04-10T15:57:15.660-05:00

NOT MUCH.I had the most annoying experience with UPS this week. I ordered some bedding from Urban Outfitters and had to pay $10 for shipping. Urban Outfitters accidentally (?) omitted my apartment number on the shipping label, so when the package was delivered, they had to take it straight to the building office and leave it for me. Whatever incompetent debile working there at the time told them

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-83581339609235595252010-04-03T14:11:00.003-05:002010-04-03T14:24:01.519-05:00

I feel like I have often written about my fear of bees and wasps on this blog. This will not deter me from writing about it again today.Several months ago, I was having recurrent nightmares about bees, which was odd because it was the middle of winter, and my apian nightmares typically don't start until spring. In my dreams, I returned home to find my bedroom infested with so many bees that they

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-14037975446247360322010-04-03T13:20:00.002-05:002010-04-03T13:48:28.964-05:00

Greetings, strangers. I am a bad, bad blogger. I offer you this posting as a pittance and excuse for my long, long, long, long, long, long absence: How to neglect your (beloved) blog in 5 easy and sometimes enjoyable steps.1. Become embroiled in ridiculous personal drama.I didn't want to be tempted to write about it on the blog, and yet it was all-encompassing in real life so I had a hard time

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-21934790230604311002009-12-22T22:20:00.004-06:002009-12-22T22:31:42.945-06:00

... but I am home now. Home in the horrifically plain suburbs of Chicago, surrounded by white! White landscapes, people, elephant gifts, and minds. And you know how that gives me material. As a sappy, lame excuse for my inattention to this blog, I offer you a scrap of a google chat with a morsel of information about my personal life. It doubles as a sneak-preview of the evil holiday spirits and

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-43920473267098142172009-11-20T19:47:00.002-06:002009-11-20T20:07:07.057-06:00

1. BusesLately I've been in a dangerously bad mood in the mornings and it's been all I can do not to explode with rage every time I'm on the bus. Some guy will inevitably weasel his way into a seat that opens up right next to me every morning, forcing me to stand while 10 people squeeze past where I'm standing in the middle of the aisle. I have a new theory that the murderous ideations of serial

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-7099636992590667222009-11-10T17:43:00.003-06:002009-11-10T17:48:22.594-06:00

I am the ONLY person who could slice her finger open and bleed profusely trying to BAKE COOKIES. I'm probably also the only clumsy, irresponsible cook who manages to have slip up with knives on a daily basis and can never remember to keep band-aids around. Every single finger on my left hand has bled this week. Last week, a paring-knife mishap caused me to slice between my thumbnail and finger (

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-15362629395082242302009-11-04T20:33:00.004-06:002009-11-04T20:39:12.412-06:00

Ladies, nobody in science is ever going to give you any respect. You're going to have to knee them in the groin, sucker punch, headlock, and choke hold them, kick them to the ground, beat them into unconsciousness with a heavy object, and take the respect you deserve from their limp, clammy hands. In an intellectual sense, of course... yes, of course...

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-69720303858404658542009-11-01T11:04:00.003-06:002009-11-01T11:14:50.432-06:00

I don't think I'll ever really understand Halloween. Is it religious or pagan? Is it for kids or adults? As a kid, wearing a costume made me cry, and other kids' costumes scared me. Even now the idea of dressing up like a stranger perplexes me... who am I supposed to be when I'm in costume? A character? Myself? Which myself?I walked around campus on Friday as confused as ever. On a non-holiday,

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-16772669567477443482009-10-27T19:15:00.004-05:002009-10-27T19:29:25.572-05:00

I am a weird girl and I have weird hiccups.When my mother was pregnant with me, people could tell that I was hiccuping because her stomach would bounce visibly. My hiccups were so strong they actually caused my mother pain.My hiccups have always been out of control. My diaphragm contracts so violently that my entire body shakes. They yank on internal organs, tug my abdominal muscles painfully,

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-91240228894474644442009-10-17T09:45:00.004-05:002009-10-17T10:00:35.138-05:00

My mom and I listened to the Beatles' remastered Revolver (stereo) this morning. We're huge Beatles geeks. We debated which album best represented when the Beatles' sound began to change. I think Revolver shows the complete revolution they made... but she thinks earlier. Rubber Soul, perhaps? And which song is more perfect-- "And Your Bird Can Sing" or "Here, There, and Everywhere"? Every time a

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-75317279110953520702009-09-29T08:36:00.004-05:002009-09-29T08:44:32.811-05:00

Last night I was admiring my new birthday knives. They are exquisitely beautiful and shiny, especially the santoku knife, which has oval indents in it for "thinner slicing." I was standing in my kitchen admiring its icy, almost malicious gleam in the tinny fluorescent light, and found myself instinctively moving my finger toward the blade to touch its shiny edge. (I like to touch shiny things. I

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-86607220420170094622009-09-27T12:05:00.004-05:002009-09-27T12:13:50.050-05:00

I was thinking about my previous post's pleas to Shonda Rimes & Friends. Yes, I would still like some sort of massacre to occur at Seattle Grace. Yes, I would like it to happen as soon as possible. Yes, I would like every major and supporting character to perish without any dramatic dialogue or mourning involved. But in addition to this, NO ONE CAN COME BACK AS GHOSTS. Especially ghosts that have

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-47576375197811637012009-09-26T18:07:00.003-05:002009-09-26T19:02:27.389-05:00

As you may recall, I canceled all television service to my apartment a month ago. It's been a quiet month in my apartment. I kind of like it, but sometimes I need to do something... mindless... so today I watched some of this season's premieres (on my laptop).1. Grey's Anatomy: First of all, why do I waste my life watching this drivel? The dialogue is painful and all the characters are ridiculous

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-59418876123396947772009-09-25T18:37:00.003-05:002009-09-25T18:58:21.812-05:00

It's almost my birthday and that means I've been thinking a lot about... alcohol!I thought of a good name for a sure-to-be disgusting shot: PBR&J. It would consist of Pabst Blue Ribbon and Jello, or maybe PBR and grenadine and a cherry. At any rate, that's gross, but it would be fun to order. I would probably try it once or ten times.You know what would make a really good shot? Tequila. I'm going

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-82630651717334903552009-09-09T15:10:00.003-05:002009-09-09T15:59:16.342-05:00

I've been experiencing a lot of anxiety lately, and I think I want to commemorate that by describing a couple more of my phobias. I don't think these phobias have cool names like masklophobia (which, by the way, is still generating hits for this blog. I'm not alone). If you can think of a good one, please share it with me.1. Peanut butter. First of all, people, peanut butter is evil. It's fatty

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-42947571012036891892009-09-01T17:10:00.004-05:002009-09-01T17:40:28.071-05:00

Last week, I lost a good friend of mine: Veatrix, my iPod. She presented Wednesday morning with a sad iPod face and never woke up.Veatrix was a first generation 20 GB color iPod that I adopted from my dad, who won her in some promotional event at work and doesn't have my emotional musical needs. I was a freshman in college then and only used an iPod to amuse me during the 20 minute walk to and

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-77397327752918507972009-08-21T19:37:00.005-05:002009-08-22T10:45:32.708-05:00

I am fortunate enough to enjoy a completely free transit system in my town. There is no parking on campus so we all save hundreds of dollars a year being able to ride the bus to and fro. I am absolutely not complaining about the gratuitous transportation provided by the good people of Chapel Hill today. Absolutely not. Indeed, today I'm complaining about the good people of Chapel Hill.As someone

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-91339202837571469102009-08-15T10:41:00.005-05:002009-08-15T11:05:20.565-05:00

When I was a senior in high school, my gigantic wisdom teeth pressed on a nerve in my jaw and gave me a headache for almost the entire year, nonstop. Or maybe the kids I went to school with were just so annoying, blonde, and orange that I was in psychic pain all the time... I don't know. If you went to my high school you'd understand that both options are equally likely. I had my wisdom teeth

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-17605243938788776642009-08-12T22:53:00.003-05:002009-08-12T22:57:00.249-05:00

I have never been so happy to have a photographic memory than I was this morning when I had a dream about my wallet without my debit card in it and got up to see it was true. I was able to visualize where I had left it and that is today's reason I didn't jump off a bridge.I'd be pretty disabled without my photographic memory. How does everyone else do it? Please explain "paying attention" to me.

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-13225512817810918322009-08-12T12:12:00.006-05:002009-08-12T12:40:50.228-05:00

What if all the Martin Luther King, Jr. Blvds in the United States were connected to form a single coherent boulevard? Then we could take a luxuriously slow road trip around the United States, passing from city to city in a nonsensical labyrinthine path. This would benefit people who sometimes wake up in strange cities and find themselves confused by their orientation to home relative to the

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-58225151483857384912009-08-09T15:38:00.005-05:002009-08-09T16:15:16.622-05:00

I love multidisciplinary studies. Specialization limits the accessibility of whatever topic you study-- sure, you might be an expert in the environmental theory of praying mantis egg-hatching dynamics, but if you can't communicate what you know to someone who studies the neurobiochemical interactions of crawfish mating rituals, what good does it do? We do need experts, though... it's just that,

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-13923413108801992912009-08-06T22:06:00.003-05:002009-08-06T22:17:23.584-05:00

In an effort to not spend my money, I'm kicking television. Cable costs an extra $40-something a month and I would like to have that money in my bank account. Or to spend on concert tickets. The best part about not having television is that I won't have to see a single Grey's Anatomy commercial and wonder how Americans became so tasteless that they made it one of the highest rated programs on

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-85016608748917326872009-08-02T22:07:00.003-05:002009-08-02T22:10:38.435-05:00

North Carolina, I give up. Enough with the insects, okay? I give up. I concede that nature hates me.I have good reason to think that my car has a nest of bees inside. Does that sort of thing happen to normal people? What would someone do if their car was full of bees? Will I at least get some delicious honeycomb out of the whole ordeal?

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-24997818461566275042009-08-02T11:14:00.004-05:002009-08-02T11:55:07.415-05:00

I don't know a lot about politics, but I do know a lot about bitching. It seems that lately, a big mouth is all you need to put your two cents into debates about the economy and healthcare. People I went to high school with are posting daily rants on Facebook about how Obama's a communist-- the last time I saw these guys participate in anything was gym class, and I think that was only to prove

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-20287352739828695502009-07-23T00:32:00.006-05:002009-07-23T00:59:49.703-05:00

A week ago there was a gigantic centipede taunting me from the ceiling, but I was having a Rolling Stones underwear dance party so I couldn't be bothered to kill it. By the time I was done, the centipede had stopped peeping at me and gone back into hiding. I have been trying desperately for these past few days not to think of it predating the corners of my quaint apartment while I sleep.Tonight,

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-15864210350850232912009-07-19T11:43:00.003-05:002009-07-19T12:03:09.237-05:00

I'm 25% Polish, 50% German, and 25% mystery. When all these genes combine, you get a human being that runs more efficiently on hard liquor than any other substance in the world. Vodka got me through college. It helped me dance, it helped me date, and it helped me break up. It helped me forget the C- I got in calculus, Egyptian history, organic chemistry, and genetics, and the C+ I got in almost

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-63325512021489576782009-07-12T23:45:00.003-05:002009-07-12T23:49:37.666-05:00

elyse (12:42:57 AM): yeah why do families gotta kiss?chris (12:43:05 AM): I don't knowchris (12:43:07 AM): It weirds me out kind ofelyse (12:43:09 AM): that's weirdchris (12:43:12 AM): Especially my grandmaelyse (12:43:43 AM): the weirdest is when you have to hug or kiss family members who aren't actually related to youelyse (12:43:50 AM): like an uncle or aunt who is married inchris (12:44:24 AM

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-37422156034885416392009-07-11T18:36:00.002-05:002009-07-11T19:32:44.999-05:00

I almost never add people as my friend on Facebook. I wait for them to add me. Playing hard-to-get over the internet is a challenging and rewarding game. I get this cheap, dirty thrill from the rejections and selections that happen over Facebook.When I add people, I almost always regret it. Sometimes I add guys I've dated and never see them again (only their updates, like irritating ghosts of the

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-34823970053625833472009-06-30T22:58:00.005-05:002009-07-23T00:57:31.043-05:00

Today I was teaching a lab class about insect foraging, so the students and I walked to UNC's arboretum for some observation of the fast-paced world of honey bee life. I got lost. In the arboretum. By myself. The students had to come find me. It's a good thing I have a good sense of humor about myself because that is harikari-quality embarrassing.If you've ever driven with me, you know I pretty

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-36355575536036764422009-06-28T12:10:00.004-05:002009-06-28T12:26:56.473-05:00

Oh my Darwin, a week with no posts? This can only mean that I have better things to do than sit around and fester in my own cynicism. I'm truly sorry.Last night, some dude was flirting with me at a bar. He was a nice, respectful, normal guy who was paying complete attention to me, so of course I wasn't interested at all. I don't know why, exactly ... but I really feel guilty for not being

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-60565088486446023332009-06-21T12:10:00.002-05:002009-06-21T12:34:29.958-05:00

The religious period of my life ended when I stopped believing in Santa Claus... since then, the closest I come to recapturing that feeling of trust and wonderment in a higher being is when I listen to good music. The Beatles spent six years building the foundation for everything I worship (and on the seventh year they rested, or maybe they were getting high). Maybe I don't get any moral

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-26104641115317596062009-06-13T20:01:00.004-05:002009-06-13T20:49:06.923-05:00

When you grow up, they tell you girls can do anything. They tell you that more women should go into science and math. And then they have things like Girl Scouts to make young women feel empowered.What a load of crap.Men don't actually want women to be their contemporaries in any field, particularly science and math. Males are raised with the expectation that they will naturally excel in "logical

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-52727027944765661522009-06-13T14:16:00.003-05:002009-06-13T14:21:33.003-05:00

In about 23 years, when I have a midlife crisis, I'm going to have a really funky experimental punk garage band. My kids are going to be incredibly embarrassed. My third or fourth husband will leave me. I'll lose my job and have to move into a grungy basement apartment, but I'll be happy mixing the sounds I collect from the pigeons cooing for scraps in the park with the roar of airplanes taking

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-18089817177992089392009-06-11T19:25:00.003-05:002009-06-11T19:30:40.730-05:00

This morning I was a-walking, a-walking to the lab, and I saw a bird lying on its back on the ground. There have been a lot of dead birds around campus lately. However, as I approached this sparrow, it suddenly flipped over and sat crouched on the ground, not moving but obviously alive. I happened to be just outside the birdsong lab I used to work in, and I had a grand notion that I would scoop

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-62432610875015402472009-06-03T20:38:00.003-05:002009-06-03T20:58:34.037-05:00

When I visited home last week, I went to the grocery store with my mom. She held up a box of organic cereal and said, "This is so expensive. It's like two bottles of wine." She then revealed to me that she converts the price of luxuries in wine bottles to determine if they are worth the expense.I was surprised because I do the same thing with yogurt. In line to purchase my lunch, I think to

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-83408071884791930512009-05-31T13:30:00.002-05:002009-05-31T13:41:52.999-05:00

I obsessively re-read my blog posts and check them for typos. If you find a typo, PLEASE TELL ME. I would die a thousand deaths if someone read this blog and considered me to be illiterate. This morning I was reading the last ten posts for linguistic integrity and (in)appropriate content and my mother asked what I was doing. I said I was reading my own blog, which sounds pretty damn egotistical

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-42624032393480082662009-05-31T11:40:00.004-05:002009-05-31T12:09:41.612-05:00

Last night I crawled home at 4:30 am after a looooooong night of drinking. I woke up at 9 am and stumbled downstairs, a little drunk. I grabbed the sunday crossword puzzle and finished it in record time. Usually I get pissed off at one of the corners and lose interest. (You probably think I'm an idiot now, but whatever, we all have different skills. Mine are irrelevant blogging and

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-65234185631533673232009-05-29T20:05:00.002-05:002009-05-29T20:09:49.984-05:00

I have been having some boy problems lately and feeling pretty crappy. As in, on the verge of tears all the time crappy. But today I bought three pairs of REALLY CUTE SHOES and it makes me feel elated. As in, dancing around the house in my new shoes elated.I think I'll go out on a bar crawl with my old drinkin' buddies wearing my new drinkin' shoes!

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-75146252121808777182009-05-27T08:30:00.003-05:002009-05-27T08:33:16.952-05:00

Ladies, you know when your hormones get out of control and you want to either love or scream at anything in your line of sight? Maybe that's just me. Anyway... I'll have a new post as soon as I stop taking out my inexplicable rage on my sock monkey. Poor sock monkey.

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-51290386442379948962009-05-22T23:21:00.003-05:002009-05-22T23:28:43.617-05:00

One of the things I really like about myself is my ability to simultaneously be a lightweight and hold my liquor. I feel drunk after half a beer, but I don't feel sick after 12 shots of tequila. I'm Polish, German, Irish, and Native American, baby!The only excuse I have for bragging about this is that I'm headed to Chicago for a week, and this means that my liver needs to get in gear. We don't

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-43650396602744848852009-05-20T23:38:00.007-05:002009-05-20T23:54:36.339-05:00

I think when I have kids, I'm going to rename the foods I make for them for my own amusement. For example, I think it would be interesting to call lasagna "chicanery" and satiate my children with the dish before sending them to play at a friend's. Their friend's mother might ask them if they are hungry, and do they want a snack? To which my wonderful children might reply, "No thanks, we're full

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-61205962866314810692009-05-19T22:00:00.003-05:002009-05-19T22:09:36.887-05:00

If I ever go 2 weeks without posting again, don't worry your pretty little heads. You don't have to go through withdrawal from my obnoxious sentiments. I have added Twitter to my blog (upper right) and you can follow me, if you think you really need to, at the user name "twisby."I almost never post what I'm actually doing because I could only post four times and that'd basically be it. Sleeping,

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-71510328743586238372009-05-18T18:53:00.003-05:002009-05-18T19:09:37.434-05:00

My boyfriend and I like to talk about baby names a lot. I think it's important to agree on baby names with your partner in case you ever accidentally have a child with him. I'm pretty sure that he simply agrees with whatever I suggest because today I suggested the names Thorfinn and Fokkobosker, and he said they were "great." But really, a man's role in picking babynames is just to agree with

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-16083752203989327512009-05-18T08:02:00.004-05:002009-05-18T08:20:43.796-05:00

It's hard to summon up the energy for a sarcastic and acerbic post when there is an imaginary raccoon inhabiting my uterus, trying to chew and claw its way out. WHY, UTERUS, WHY? Someday I am going to stuff a gigantic, months-overdue baby in there to teach it a lesson, and then let's see it try to backtalk me.There are things this week that I MUST do but have negative desire to start doing. I'm

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-43075881730134715632009-05-07T10:53:00.004-05:002009-05-07T19:22:09.737-05:00

Joe the Plumber Slurs Gay People: I Would Never Let "Queers" Near My ChildrenAll that press from the last election must have inspired Samuel Wurzelbacher to brush up on his learnin'. In the above article, "Joe the Plumber" takes it upon himself to define the word "queer" to the Huffington Post, adding, "People don't understand the dictionary."I can understand your confusion, America. After all,

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-52622896042998267172009-05-05T08:33:00.003-05:002009-05-05T08:35:44.128-05:00

Sorry I've been lazy about updating... My life is crazy. I'll be back with more inane rants as soon as I can. In the meantime, go read Fmylife.com for some equivalent embitterment.

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-81554671138328728332009-04-19T09:04:00.004-05:002009-04-19T09:14:24.345-05:00

When people like Tori Spelling write books, why do people buy them? Maybe it's misguided for me to think of Tori Spelling as a boring, unattractive 90's version of Paris Hilton because there are obviously people buying her books. So what's so interesting about her? I would actually be more interested in Paris's autobiography than Tori's, and I'm saying this with the expectation that Paris would

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-36438650042460306392009-04-15T19:11:00.004-05:002009-04-19T09:31:28.286-05:00

MyMonthlyCycles.com is a free website that enables women to track their periods. After you track a few cycles, it calculates your average cycle length and predicts your period start dates for you. You can also track ovulation and symptoms, if you want. Admittedly, this website has changed my life. I would never be able to keep track of hormonal crap like that without an email reminder-- I'm a

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-27163350275044745882009-04-15T18:36:00.003-05:002009-04-15T19:08:44.681-05:00

Yesterday I was riding the bus home from the grocery store. It had just begun to rain lightly and the bus was not crowded at all. In fact, there were many, many seats available. Two men boarded at the Credit Union. Instead of taking a seat, they decided to stand in front of me. Not only did I have to stare at their (unappealing) behinds for 15 minutes, I had to endure their wet, dripping

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-49509181673242693972009-04-14T08:56:00.004-05:002009-04-14T09:27:08.424-05:00

I recently learned that I have not been using the Internet correctly for years! Beyond the fact that I don't really like watching YouTube videos or creating sexy webcams or sexnetworking on MySpace, I'm apparently not shopping correctly either. I'm just a failure as a woman.The controversy with Amazon.com and its "delisting" of media dealing with homosexuality and feminism brought this to my

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-35406981226157686482009-04-13T20:25:00.002-05:002009-04-13T20:31:21.724-05:00

Why is it that that IRS can't steal, I mean deduct, the correct amount of money from my paychecks during the course of the year? I always get money back. I guess that's nice, but it makes me concerned about the math qualifications required to get a job in government these days. Maybe that's why this country's in debt, eh? Eh????

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-2056483226226452062009-04-11T11:31:00.004-05:002009-04-11T11:35:51.355-05:00

... I don't know how this is going to sit with you guys, but I watched Power Rangers: RPM this morning and I think I sort of liked it. It's so dramatic, with its cheesy catch phrases and moody lighting and acute camera angles. It's like baby!LOST. Just wanted to get that out there in the open. The first step to healing is admitting you have a problem.

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-19807616744168310432009-04-11T10:57:00.005-05:002009-04-11T11:11:52.047-05:00

Last night, we were chatting with the bartender at a pretty funky establishment in Durham. Recently, he told us, he traversed the globe eating steaks and then reported back to the bar via his blog about how they were prepared. (Some blogs are useful). They had a special "Nate's Steak" item that changed according to his blog-- how cool! Someday I want to travel and find a feature of every culture

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-67098424293610841062009-04-04T15:51:00.005-05:002009-04-04T16:12:38.860-05:00

Synopsis of every spring since college:Rainy day = I wish it was nice so I could go outside and enjoy myselfSunny day = migraine and panic attacks about insectsNow that it's getting warm and flowers are blooming, my porch is swarming with hornets. I'm not used to gigantic hornets because I'm from Chicago, where bugs die in the winter and don't get a chance to grow larger than my thumb. I can

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-34095515693782841392009-04-01T19:25:00.005-05:002009-04-01T19:34:24.542-05:00

APRIL FOOLS! Oookay, that was lame, I apologize for the low quality of this post.Yesterday, P and I were trying to dissolve a powered drug in hydrochloric acid, and somehow we ended up with about 5 mL of solution with a pH of -0.5. To give you an idea, lemon juice is about 2.5 and battery acid is 0.3 on the pH scale. Our lab safety manager had to call someone to remove "hazardous materials" and

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-85583033463352477662009-03-23T21:58:00.004-05:002009-03-23T22:38:50.992-05:00

Carrboro, I love you, but you bore the hell out of me. I can only appreciate beauty for so long before I need to bask in the gritty 24-hour gleam of the city. I'm counting down the hours until I can count down the days until I'm back in Chicago. All my memories seem more intimate when I experience them as just another anonymous, coffee-swilling speedwalker, gripping my cell phone and handing out

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-61220102878726908872009-03-19T22:12:00.003-05:002009-03-19T22:31:58.813-05:00

So far this week, I...picked UCLA to beat Duke,claimed that I wanted to be "the Amelia Earhart of neurobiology,"exploded small tubes of glass all over a table and wiped them up with my bare hands,cried over a boy (Although estrogen can probably take the fall for this craptasm),LOL'ed a Friends episode,watched a For The Love Of Ray J marathon,managed to ruin hummus,and forgot my umbrella after

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-9591249012279639212009-03-18T20:13:00.005-05:002009-03-18T20:33:08.539-05:00

My iPodthe Beatlesethnic food, especially middle eastern and thaiJohnny Depp movies, and vibratorswimmen's libthe end of the Cold WarmicrowavesGoogle, and vibratorspolymerase chain reactionnot being called a spinsterPubMed and Web of Sciencelaparoscopic surgerythe HPV vaccine (I got dose #2 yesterday. I'm so responsible.)Long lasting batteries, and vibratorscell phones and digital camerasword

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-68019926442350362332009-03-16T17:14:00.003-05:002009-03-16T17:20:21.116-05:00

I have been watching this video over and over all evening and it hasn't gotten less funny:Unseen footage of the Australian lyrebirdIf this doesn't make you laugh, you must have a diaphragm* of STONE!*the organ that enables laughter, not the convenient contraceptive device. Don't put rocks in your pants, gals.

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-72294279452151631742009-03-14T13:17:00.003-05:002009-03-14T13:40:43.591-05:00

Last night I watched an hour of VH1's weekly top video countdown and remembered why I gave up on pop music in 7th grade. By the way, as you may have predicted, the new single by the Fray sounds exactly like the previous singles by the Fray. Thus, I would like to provide you with a list of albums worth buying.TV on the Radio, Dear ScienceThe Rolling Stones, Let it BleedWilco, Sky Blue SkyFleet

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-22933060284371847572009-03-12T07:35:00.008-05:002009-03-12T07:56:21.640-05:00

I mentioned in the previous post that I watched a documentary on Africanized bees last week. I learned a lot of things about bees in spite of the overarching humanist framework that clouded the perspective of the entire documentary-- "We have to learn to live in haaaaaaaaaaaaaarmony with the apian world!" Yuck, isn't it enough that I make weak attempts to live in harmony with the human world? I

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-80420812131254589132009-03-11T17:43:00.003-05:002009-03-12T21:01:47.807-05:00

I missed you, blog readers. All four of you.When my computer crashed, it gave me the opportunity to re-evaluate my life. Last Monday, my laptop rested in the corner, a wisp of smoke trailing from its lower lip-- a sexy throwback to the good old days of Marlboro advertising. It was a cool cowboy and I was a scared heifer. I realized then, that I had come to rely on my computer not only for random

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-4151671701488044882009-03-05T08:14:00.002-06:002009-03-05T08:19:09.362-06:00

My hard drive is fried like okra. It's pretty hard for me to blog from work because I like to blog in my pajamas while I eat brownies -- and my lab lacks both key components. My new hard drive will be here Monday! You can read the archives if you miss me.I have a lot to say about the quality of Hewlett Packard computers, but this is a family blog* so I will keep my negative, expletive-laced

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-51127174776220895242009-02-25T18:13:00.006-06:002009-02-25T19:01:42.056-06:00

Yesterday at work, a couple of girls and I pondered what it was, exactly, that made men like boobs so much. (We were looking at pictures of Scarlett Johansson.) The classical answer to this question is that men don't have boobs, so they're fascinated by them... or sometimes, you'll get the evo-devo style assertion that large breasts indicate a woman who is "nurturing." Bullllllllllshit.I'll

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-85034603997347527072009-02-20T21:22:00.003-06:002009-02-20T21:47:32.487-06:00

HOW ABOUTYOU PUT ONSOMEGODDAMN PANTS?

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-23023013110466816012009-02-18T16:54:00.002-06:002009-02-18T17:03:43.801-06:00

Sorry for the recent lack of updates-- I have been preoccupied by things that I don't write about on this blog. Does anyone have any hilariously bitter sentiments to share about Valentine's Day (or President's Day, for that matter) ?I had a wonderful weekend in which I thought about science less than one times. Do thoughts about science occur in quantal units, or did I think about science in a

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-38858745643344427112009-02-10T21:15:00.004-06:002009-02-10T21:44:35.839-06:00

I've got a lot of Facebook friends that I've never met or even talked to. The number probably stretches into the 200s. This is because I went on a themed Facebook-friending spree as a freshman in college in lieu of studying for a calculus final. I don't have anything in common with them, but I actually love reading about their lives. Some of them are doing really amazing things, some of them have

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-84125536259306111062009-02-06T17:15:00.002-06:002009-02-06T17:24:22.168-06:00

I recently stated in this post that one cannot subsist on lentils alone. Some very un-thorough investigation (i.e. googling "on lentils alone" and reading a page summary without visiting the website) compels me to inform you all that you can indeed survive on a diet of only lentils. Ghandi did it.I'm sure you'll all be very surprised, as I was, to learn that I do not possess a caliber of

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-40833687335824751352009-02-05T20:38:00.003-06:002009-02-05T20:54:06.419-06:00

Article: "Palin rails against pathetic anonymous bloggers"Summary: To retain her status as a mostly irrelevant symbol of macho-feminine folksy anti-intelligence, Sarah Palin continues to give interviews in which she embarrasses people with vaginas everywhere. "I wanted to be a journalist, but I'd have to go to Bristol, CT to do that-- that's so far away! So I had a baby and named her Bristol

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-78129646690313846182009-02-03T17:53:00.005-06:002009-02-03T19:01:44.461-06:00

Lately I have been a lot more irritated than usual. A variety of factors have probably combined to create this effect... Last week's unprecedented eight days of migraine, probably the effect of some combination of small lifestyle alterations, attests to my recent neurological sensitivity. The fact that I'm surrounded by females all the time in my new lab also makes me a little edgy.What's sort of

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-59306048058845785682009-02-02T09:40:00.002-06:002009-02-02T09:53:10.197-06:00

Migraines! If this were caveman times, I would be left for dead by my family group, if I hadn't already spared myself the pain by throwing myself off a cliff. Eight days of pain makes me a totally useless human being. I can't write until this thing goes away... I can barely drag myself out of bed. What a pathetic way to live.

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-80574133120971063962009-01-26T18:34:00.005-06:002009-01-26T19:21:51.244-06:00

Today I was searching for some ideas about what to do on Valentine's Day around these parts if all of your interests and emotions aren't encapsulated by CW teen dramas like Dawson's Creek and Gossip Girl. (Let's say, hypothetically, that I'll have a date. I don't write about those kinds of things on this blog so you'll have to speculate.) So I googled "alternative valentines day" and it returned

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-2907229800540232052009-01-19T23:29:00.003-06:002009-01-19T23:51:51.369-06:00

Today I did a couple of things that I have been wanting to do since I was five: I played with mud, mated frogs, and didn't wear a hat in January. All of these amazing events were brought to me by the University of North Carolina!When we mate the frogs, we have to create some sexy mud-lined motel rooms for them so they feel comfortable. Then we lovingly inject them with hormone to get their mojo

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-19411234100879486892009-01-18T10:10:00.005-06:002009-01-18T10:30:46.127-06:00

During the winter, I get a lot of crazy ideas that my mother and my precious sane friends usually have to remind me aren't practical. Usually those ideas are things like, shave my head and pierce an eyebrow, or throw away all my clothes and start a new wardrobe from scratch. A few weeks ago, I had this wild idea that I could subsist on yogurt and mujadara (a lentil-rice-onion dish) and coffee

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-87685809946842704472009-01-17T09:11:00.006-06:002009-01-17T10:04:51.890-06:00

I read all the Harry Potter books. I read some twice. I read some three times. They have a special little place in my heart and I don't care if you think that makes me lame. You know what're really lame? The Harry Potter movies.Last night I headed over to a friend's place to watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Those kids really can't act. It's not so apparent in the first couple of movies

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-25989468789258307802009-01-10T11:25:00.008-06:002009-01-10T12:03:37.893-06:00

This blog got 50 hits yesterday, which sort of blows my mind. One of those hits was for "masklophobia." You may remember my paranoid post in which I lamented my fear of costumed people/animals. I hope that I helped you, anonymous masklophobia researcher, with your investigation of a phobia that has ruined Halloween and all theme parks for me and tens of other neurotic freaks.A friend of mine

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-3282054921600132472009-01-07T19:26:00.004-06:002009-01-07T19:52:29.258-06:00

Lately I've been a little distracted by re-relocating, social life, and being sick. Here's a distracted update:It hailed in North Carolina today, which ruined my utopian ideas about the weather. Once, when I was working in Champaign-Urbana, golf ball sized hail was falling. That really freaked me out because that was my "dirt poor" summer, when I couldn't afford to take a bus or buy an umbrella

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-79095612942394578462009-01-02T12:59:00.006-06:002009-01-02T13:24:08.082-06:00

Sometimes I ask the question philosophically, pondering the purpose of my own life and fate. Sometimes I use it to retrace the actions leading to a mistake to understand and prevent a future recurrence. Sometimes, today, I ask the question out of pure flabberghastery.This morning I had some ideas that I wanted to record, and I have zillions of notebooks here leftover from high school days. As I

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-63079163686601718692009-01-01T22:18:00.003-06:002009-01-01T22:31:55.791-06:00

Hopefully everyone reading this blog had the New Years Eve they wanted. I went out for the first time since high school! I typically experience unwanted emotional boycott of collective effervescences and don't want the pressure of going out, but this year I sucked it up and decided to have fun anyway. And I did.Next year I want tostart running again and do yogaspend less money on food and more

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-31859096222058456352008-12-29T09:31:00.005-06:002008-12-29T20:21:22.824-06:00

by God! Who knew!?article

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-6644576714006472532008-12-28T09:48:00.006-06:002008-12-28T10:45:10.682-06:00

green curry tofu. I missed it soooooooooo much.Wilco, Being There. It's an old album, but it's new to me.House of the Spirits, Isabella Allende.a haircut. I really really needed it.I ate green curry twice yesterday, and I would gladly do it again today, but my aunt, uncle, and cousin are visiting us from southern Illinois and there's no way they're going to want that. We are making them brunch

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-79632066308222571292008-12-23T20:16:00.005-06:002008-12-23T20:26:25.486-06:00

I was supposed to go downtown today, but this is as far as I can get out of my house:because it's been snowing for three days straight.So I spent the day baking!I am sooooooooo domestic.

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-75414520330834178902008-12-22T11:07:00.004-06:002008-12-22T11:39:05.904-06:00

I had these big plans to spend a lot of time at home away from home to minimize the amount of hair I pull out of my head. HOWEVER, Chicagoland is suddenly covered by "dibilitating snow" and -30 degree windchill weather, so no one is supposed to leave their house, let alone bar-hop and shop their way to sanity/freedom. Yesterday I tried to go downtown (because I am obviously a crazy person with no

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-70897817287396907682008-12-20T11:40:00.003-06:002008-12-20T11:51:08.295-06:00

A few weeks ago, before bedtime, I encountered the worst thing that an insectophobic single person can find when she is exhausted and hoping to get a good night's sleep: a palmetto bug (read: GIANT FLYING ROACH) hanging out on the ceiling above my bed.To make a long story short, I had to chase it around my room with a can of Raid for 20 minutes until I had finally sprayed it enough to kill it,

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-24980937179912284762008-12-20T11:10:00.004-06:002008-12-20T11:22:04.682-06:00

Want to know something that makes no sense? (If not: why are you reading this blog?)In North Carolina, I have tons of crap to do all the time, and it's really important. It's my future that's at stake, sometimes. I get it done, and I don't feel overwhelming stress about it. I'm in Chicago now, and somehow every second seems overburdened with stress, making it hard to accomplish anything-- even

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-39563892805329471352008-12-18T22:17:00.000-06:002008-12-18T22:18:24.362-06:00

I feel a little (a lot) reckless.

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8587056256500189693.post-14862358852905586752008-12-14T10:45:00.004-06:002008-12-14T11:22:29.945-06:00

Okay, this was going to be a rant, but instead I'm just going to calmly state that every Sunday, I call my grandparents, and they basically let me know that they think I am living in North Carolina becauseI want to "punish" our family by living in a state that isn't IllinoisI couldn't get a job anywhere elseI'm rebelling against jobs that earn moneyI'm rebelling against my Catholic upbringing by

twisbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08585575658330718246noreply@blogger.com3